Now, it is my birthday this Saturday and for some reason I am the most excited I have been for this “special day” in a long time. There is no particular ‘land mark age’ I am entering but I’m just looking forward to celebrating the day with my friends and family.
Being the nostalgic person I am, I started looking back on pervious birthday of when I was younger and how different the day was back then, to how it is now. My days would focus more on seeing my family and my lovely Granny. Sadly my Granny is no longer with us but I have the happiest and funniest memories of spending my birthday with her, which I know I will remember for the rest of my life.
However, because of my young age, I kind of forgot I wouldn’t be seeing her on my birthday the year she passed, and when I remembered it was a strange feeling of realisation and disappointment. Now I have the most loving parents and sister who love to celebrate birthdays to the fullest and an amazing group of friends who are the same, so my birthday was still very enjoyable. Still, this then made me aware of how hard it must be for those of us who loose a Mother, Father or sibling and facing that on such a family orientated day. Maybe it was my naivety that I couldn’t see this growing up but we are always shown what a joyful and happy time birthdays are, almost like your break from reality for one day.
Now I know that there are many ways of still enjoying yourself but feeling like you have to go out and fake a smile isn’t what a birthday is about. Your birthday is your day and you do whatever you want on it. And if that’s taking a quiet evening in to remember your loved one, then that’s okay.
I know I will enjoy my birthday a lot this year, but I will be sure to give my Granny a thought whilst I’m appreciating how lucky I am to celebrate my day with the ones I love most.